看到一篇育儿文章、一篇谈感情的文章（不知算法为何把这种文章推送给一个花甲老人），不约而同，都用到“惯”和“宠”这俩字，而且混在一起用。

其实，“惯”是“惯”，“宠”是“宠”，它们是近义词，不是同义词。

我用这句话把你的目光拽过来，投向这两个字，思考一下两者区别，无需多言，你已经明白了。

既然明白了，我就不解释了。

但好为人师的我，忍不住，还是想“说一说”。

这样吧，我就拿这两个字对应的 spoil 和 pamper 来“说一说”。

If you love someone, you pamper them. You do not spoil them.

Pampering entails mental commitment, emotional investment and, preferably, physical presence.

Spoiling someone is a tactic to detach, to get that person off your back, emotionally. “Yeah, yeah, go ahead. Just do it. You need some dosh? Here, take it. (And piss off!)” That’s spoiling!

When you pamper someone, you are there for them and with them. You suppress your urge to spoil them when you can see their whims are not in their best interests. That takes courage and the source of that courage is love.

If you are on the receiving end, being spoilt feels somewhat like, counterintuitively, being cut adrift and left out in the cold.

The only temperature of pampering, on the other hand, is warmth.

A kid who is spoilt rotten gets on everyone’s nerves.

A pampered lover is the envy of all.